You're arranging your enemies list
"Excuse me, do you know how to sort on excel?"
"Yea, it's the sort button."
"What's your name?"

You're tying to force yourself to write more.

"Write more!" You scream.

People in the coffee shop look at you,

their searing, deeply roasted gaze staring down to your core.

You're having trouble connecting to people.
It looks like you have the wrong plug.
You're tired of these new micro-USBs.

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